The dreaded phone call

I don't know about the rest of you, but in my family there is usually some sort of drama going on.  Right now it is car drama, but I will save that for another post.  Today was my own drama because evidently I like to create drama if there is none.  ;-)  You know create my own drama as it were.

I have to give you some background first.  We attend a small church.  A very small church.  And one would think that church would be the LAST place where politics would be hanging out.  Especially in a very small church.  One would be wrong.  Oh the stories I could tell.  But I digress..... 

There were several individuals several years back that decided our church was too old fashioned.  Our minister believes that only men can be elders and that group had a problem with that.  Personally, I have a problem with that, too; however, I choose to pick my battles and that is not one of them.  If the men want all the responsibility - they can have it.  If I want to be a deacon or an elder - I will go to a different church.  Again, I digress.......

So this group of people decided to go on a journey that led them down the path of creating upheaval in our church.  The group was recruiting people for their cause and having secret meetings all discussing how to oust the minister.  Then it all came to a head in a meeting in the basement of the church.  The group expressed their concern.  Sheer silliness ensued, words were thrown around and the group who wanted the minister gone stormed out of the basement and never returned.  And our minister stayed.  And in my mind - that was a good thing because even if we don't agree on all doctrine, I know he wants only to do what is right.

It just so happens that two of my family members were in the group that stormed out that night.  Fortunately, they were not the true troublemakers of the group, but they did follow that group.  And in the midst of all the ruckus that was being caused one of those two family members said some things to the minister's wife that were hurtful and mean.

Prior to those words being said when I had family gatherings, I would invite the minister and his wife because they have no family in town.  I have Thanksgiving and Easter at my house for both my family and my husband's family.  Needless to say, I could no longer invite the minister and his wife because of those hurtful words and it was very awkward. 

This went on for several years. 

Then my daughter graduated from high school.  We always have a graduation party at our church and all members of the graduate's family are invited.  Uh oh.  Again - awkward.  My family members that left were coming to the graduation party.  Not only did they come, but they invited 2 members of the 'group' that had caused such chaos for our church to come, too.  Very awkward.  Fortunately, the day came and went without incident.

Then my other daughter graduated from high school.  And as always there was a graduation party at church.  And all of the graduate's family members were invited.  The fear was less, but still a little fear nonetheless.  This time it was just the family members and again everything went off without an incident.

Then I had an anniversary party for my parents.  My mother and the minister's wife are extremely close and the party could not be had without them or my family members.  Again - fear.  I was not as fearful as the last time, but fear nonetheless.  Even better than before, the family member and the minister's wife spoke this time.   The party went off without a hitch and there was no incident.  The pain of the past had lessened.

Then, there was craft day at church.  There was no fear and my family member and the minister's wife actually spoke and laughed.  And it seems there is peace.

Then, my mother, because she is so fearless, suggested I invite the minister and his wife over for our Easter celebration.  I thought that was a great idea.  My family member and the minister's wife had attended multiple social gatherings without incident.  I thought it was time.  Until I had to make the phone call.

Again - FEAR.  Because I like to create my own drama  -  you know.  I thought about calling my Mom and make her call my family member and tell them who was coming over for Easter since it was her BIG idea.  LOL  But the phone call went smoothly and it seems all is right with the world.

I think the moral of this story is that sometimes we say things we shouldn't.  And sometimes that causes awkwardness.  And that awkwardness can sometimes go on for years.  But when it is all said and done, we just need to put on our big girl panties and say - I forgive you.

Thanks for stopping by.  Have a great day and be inspired.


John 3:17  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.


  1. ah there you go, April ... in the LORD and He will sort it all out, one step at a time..

    ... we know how to make the mess only too well!

    ... but mercifully He knows how to sort it out and work it for good ... in spite of ourselves!!! God bless you this Easter as we remember His great gift for us.. off to write an Easter post hopefully with a calligraphy on it.., Shaz in oz.x

  2. April, I know what you mean about drama. I believe no family is untouched by it. Much of the drama is built around the stories we have in our head. Our perceptions can create such a mess sometimes. I do the same thing with my mother-in-law. I project my insecurities on her from time to time and start to believe that voice in my head. And I agree, sorry is one of those words that isn't often said and we fester with guilt, anger and hurt. I am so sorry to hear that you carried that burden with you for so long. Particularly when you were not the one raising the issues. This also leads to talking about how we really need to understand how interconnected we are and that one thing said or done by one affects us all. So we must really stop and think before we say and do. That said, it is not always easy to practice but more something to strive for.

    I hope you have a wonderful holiday and can let go of those feelings of anxiety. It is not good for your health and I want my friend healthy!

    1. So very true. I hope you and your family have a great Easter. :-)


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